My almost 21-year old brain is somewhat in trouble.
There’s a need to do self growth, expansion of mind and trying new things.
There’s also a need to be self-destructive and throw everything away.
There’s a need to do the right thing: meditate, read a book, learn.
There’s also a need dive into the unsober paradise.
yesterday I had one of the best days of the year and today I feel like shit, depressed and wanna die. Funny right?
Tuesday, 21st March 2017
I have mixed feelings.
Title song: 4422 by Drake ft. Sampha
Eventful day I guess. I’m still sick from yesterday. I feel like taking a huge dump after the steak I had with Peter, Joel and Rohema. Oh Priscilla was there too.
I’m going to be responsible for day-to-day operations of Project B. Not excited or anything. But.
I feel like I’m being extremely underestimated.
I feel like I’m expected to fail. I’m expecting to fall flat on my face.
Sink or swim.
I’ll swim even though I don’t swim anymore.
I know I can do it. I have full trust in myself but at the same time, lots of doubts. Maybe it’s because I’m somewhat sick.
you need me to get that shit together so we can get together
Haih. What do I know.
Love you Mahyar. Thank you for the gift. Have a good night.
Sohail sends his regards back. He likes the tshirt btw.
That’s what I have continuously been reading. I met D’Hann on Thursday and it was a swell time. It started slow; because she had work stuff to take care of first but then the conversations started.
I had a very nice talk with Sohail as well. He’s a really motivated and driver person. I don’t know how he works and speaks to other people, but when I saw him again he was on his laptop doing some work and then was very friendly and respectful towards me (Oh looks, a run-on sentence, I think!).
I was finally able to give D’Hann her birthday gifts. I did disguise the fact that 3 gifts were for her birthday AND NEW YEARS, but nah, they were all for her birthday; got her a book called Confabulations, a set of color pencils and a Uniqlo gift card. She inspected the book and flipped through the pages, then she put it away. She was very touched by the colorpencils though! She said it touched her “teacher” side. I honestly thought the colorpencil was the least thought-out gift I had for her, however she seemed to like it the most out of the three. She eventually put all the gifts together with their wrappers (Oh did I mention she opened them each very carefully) and put ‘em in the plastic I gave to her. I don’t know what she’ll do to do them or even use ‘em. For me, it’s the gesture that counts.
Before we saw Sohail, D’Hann and I went to Uniqlo, because I wanted to buy a gift for him as well. You may ask why would I get a gift for him, and I would simply reply; I was being stupid (D’Hann’s words, not very serious obviously) and I opened the gift I was supposed to give to him, which was a powerbank. So we went to Uniqlo and bought him a long-sleeve shirt. I felt no pain paying for the gifts from them though, none. We got to D’Hann’s place and I passed his gift to him and he went to try it on. It was the funniest thing. He looked very religious! It was hilarious to me! He looked good but gosh!
Once you go to the middle east, you won’t go back to the west!
I had a somewhat long conversation with Sohail on the topic of memes, how memes made Trump president, how Asian technological companies/industries are slow to the modern culture and how useful some subscription based applications are to Sohail and his work and the benefit of paying for such services. Man, I really want to do IT now, but oh well(?). I want to work with D’Hann as well. I adore both of them, because of who they are and what they do. I want to be as motivated, educated and loving as they are.
It was time to go and both of them drove me to the LRT station; I said my goodbyes and what I remember vividly is that D’Hann said I always have a place with them, and I can stay with them anytime. Of course, I’m not going to abuse this privilege with them by running away from my current life but I’m also not sure whether they really meant it because she saw me being very miserable about going back to the dorm and my usual life. Oh well. But she did text me that she loved me, that matters a lot. Love her to bits. Sohail is special too, of course! Maybe I’ll ask him to follow me to Penang or Singapore later this year.
